I hear you

Funny how everyone really just wants to be heard and understood.

This week my baby has started responding to the baby signs we have been teaching her. She understands "milk" "more" "water" "eat" and "up" and has started signing "more" and "up" as well as clapping her hands when she likes something. It is so nice to be able to understand just a little bit more of what she is trying to tell me. Most of my day is spent trying to decipher her various cries and grunts and squeals, usually unsuccessfully. However, I love that moment when I have correctly guessed what she wants, signed the right thing in front of her frustrated little face, when she knows that I know what she wants and am going to give it to her, and there is a brief moment of connection and relief in both of our eyes as the crying stops and her needs are met and transforms back into my happy baby.

I have similar moments, though not as frequent with my toddler. Often she says seemingly random things that make no sense to anyone but her or are completely out of context and unrelated to what is going on. I found that when I am really listening to her, and in tune with her thoughts, I can often do a backwards kind of thought map that will lead from the strange comment to a recent expereince or conversation we have had that leads back around to the current situation and makes everything "fit." Her random thoughts and silly stories become useful insights into her memories and the way that she sees the world around her.
For example, when she said at dinner that "She would her carrots and become a true princess" her sister wondered out loud what carrots had to do with royalty. Nothing really, except her daddy reminds her every night that eating her veggies will help her grow long and shiny, and Dora in her latest adventure became a "true princess" and ended up with long hair, and obviously if she wanted to be a princess she needed long hair and the way to make that happen was to eat her veggies. And I started searching for princess books about little girls with short curly red hair to give her princess dreams some variety!
I don't think that is a need our kids ever outgrow, either. My son's biggest and loudest complaint is often, "You aren't listening to me!" It seems the worst I can do to him is to argue with him or punish him without having let him speak and listening to his side of things. He usually ends up in trouble anyway (throwing the football in the living room is a time out offense, regardless of how you try to explain it away) but resists less if I have taken a moment to listen to him.
I found my oldest daughter in her room crying a few nights ago. Her feelings had been hurt. Not from teasing or being left out or unfairly punished, but from being told to "stop talking" one too many times. She just wanted someone to listen to her.

I think we are all like that. We just want to be heard. I am going to make a more conscious effort to listen, really listen, to those around me this week. I am excited about what I might hear!