Tips for Summer Travel with Children

I have 4 children. Our grandparents live on opposite sides of the country, and neither is near us. We have become rather seasoned veterans in the world of long-distance travel and we journey from coast to coast in search of extended family memories. I will do a follow-up post with tips for road trips but wanted to start out with some  helps for plane travel. Most of our traveling is done without daddy. Not always, but usually we are headed out for a long stay (if you have to spend $2,000 to get there, you might as well stay a while right?) and daddy as the bread winner has to get back to work before we have to get back home. So more often than not, I am acting as the single parent on the flight. Here are some little bits of wisdom I have gleaned from our traveling experiences. Enjoy!

First, look at all of your flight options. Think about what kind of flight you want: Non-stop or connecting with one or more lay-overs.

Non stop is great for a shorter overall trip, especially if you have lots of baggage or baby equipment to haul around the airport from plane to plane. It also cuts down on the nauseating take off and landing times which is great for those with motion sickness. It also allows for nice long naps and for settling in. However, if you don't like the people sitting around you or feel a little claustrophobic in a small space, five hours with no break is a long time.

You may want to look for a flight with an hour or so layover if you don't mind a slightly longer traveling day. This cuts the time you have to keep your wiggly child in one place in half, since he or she will be distracted by the more frequent landing and taking off, the change in planes, seats, and airports. They will get to experience running through the terminal and most likely an escalator ride or two. If the person sharing your row isn't as thrilled about having young children as traveling companions, or there is a grouchy old man in front of you who winces, then turns and glares every time your child moves his feet, the endurance time for everyone is much shorter. However, this increases the chance of losing a suitcase, leaving Barbie behind, and having no time to eat anything but airplane snacks for about 8 hours, which isn't so good for digestion, calorie counters, or cranky kids who hate peanuts and soda.

Next, when booking your flight consider how one mother and three children under the age of 8 can be seated.

If you are brave and your children are a bit older, opt for the two-by-two arrangement. Put the older kids together behind you and keep the baby. Then it will be your seat they are kicking with every move, and the poor stranger sitting in the aisle seat will get to referee the sibling squabbles. If it gets really out of hand, you can put in your earphones and pretend not to know who they are.

You may also consider the whole-row arrangement, holding the baby in your lap. Who knows, your husband may find the bruises on your thighs from all those little kicks attractive upon your return and what mom can't use an 8-hour-long arm workout from holding, rocking, lifting, feeding, and moving that 20 pound bundle of joy? It makes it much more interesting to be presented with the challenge of finding ways to retrieve dropped army men, colored pencils, teethers, shoes, headphones, and pillows or to open snacks and drinks while holding a baby and trying not to bonk her head on the wall, seat, armrest, or tray table. And when one of you needs to use the bathroom, everyone gets a mini-workout and trip to the back of the plane. Resist the urge to make everyone wear pull-ups to stretch the time between potty trips. They probably don't come in sizes that big anyway.

Now that you have booked your flight and taken care of seating arrangements, its time to do some research. Head to your local library to find the answers to the following questions. Remember, no detail is to small to be left out or repeated at least five times.

Why do we have to stand in line?
Where is that man taking my suitcase?
What can't I follow it down the conveyor belt?
Why can't I take my juice bottle with me?
Why do I have to take off my shoes?
Why does that man have funny socks on?
Why can't I carry my doll/car/blanket/backpack with me through the metal detector?
Why can't I hold your hand as I go through?
Why can't I stop in the middle?
What is that funny beeping sound? Why do I have to go through again?
Why is that man holding a gun?
Why can't I have one?
Why can't I stop in the middle of the aisle and sit down to put on my shoes?
Why can't I run around and get lost or play hide and seek to make things more fun?
How much longer?
What does that sign say?
Can I have a t-shirt/mug/toy/(insert anything overpriced in a shop window here)?
Which plane is ours?
Why can't we get on that one?
What is that man/ woman's job? (this question will be repeated for all employees, from gate agents to flight attendants, to truck drivers, maintenance crew, etc, so be ready with answer for every kind of uniform you see)
Where are we going?
Where is the potty?
What is that part of the plane?
Where are the suitcases going?
Where is mine?
Why are we in line again?
Where does this tunnel lead?
Are we on the plane now?
Which seat is mine?
Why can't I sit over there?
How does the seat belt work?
How do I get it off?
What is an emergency landing?
Are we going to have one?
Will you save me if the plane lands in the water and I am not wearing my floaties?
What is this little white bag for?
Are you going to throw up this time?
Can I put the window shade up/down?
Are we going yet?
Where is my TV?
Can I turn on the light?
What happens when I push the orange button with the lady?
Can I turn off the air?
Can I turn it back on?
What is that noise?
Where is the engine?
Does this plane have a propeller?
Do I get to wear a parachute if we run out of gas?
Why are we driving instead of flying?
What are the wing flaps doing?
When is it our turn to go?
Why can't I put my hands up and yell "wheee!" as the plane goes up?
Why can't I kick the seat in front of me?
Why can't I put the tray table up and down a thousand times?
When are we going to get drinks?
Can I get in my suitcase now?
Can I take off my seat belt?
Can you trade me seats?
Does that lady have candy bars or chocolate milk?
Can I go to the bathroom now?
Why is it so small?
What happens when you flush the toilet?
Where does everything go?
Why is the water blue?
How much longer?
Can you sing me to sleep?
Does it count as a nap if I just close my eyes for a minute?
Why are we flying under the clouds?
Why are we flying above the clouds?
Why are we flying through the clouds?
Where are the care bears?
What are clouds made of?
Can I open the window and stick my hand out?
What is that down there?
Why is the plane bumping?
Is the plane bumping up and down because we are flying over the mountains?
Why do I have to wear my seat belt?
Why is the wing moving?
Why do the cars look like ants?
Where is grandma's house?
Are the wheels going to come down in time?
What if they don't?
When are we going to stop?
Why can't I get off yet?
Can I go see the pilot?
Where are we going?
Where are my suitcases?
Can I push the cart?
Can I ride with grandma all the way home? (Answer yes to this one and enjoy the few minutes of quiet!)

Be prepared with satisfactory answers to all of the above questions. You may want to consult a pilot or engineer or good book on the dynamics of airports.

Next, pack your carry-ons. Don't make the same mistake I did and assume that each child will be able to pull or carry their own bag from one plane to another. At each stop it is nearly guaranteed that at least one of the three children will be sound asleep or too groggy to handle their own luggage. Plan a way to carry an infant, a sleeping child, a stroller and all carry on bags (in our case three back packs and three roller bags) from one gate to the next in less than an hour, including a stop at the bathroom and a fast food place. Trust me, just fork over the extra $15 per bag and check everything but the essentials. It is worth every penny.

What essentials? Here is my recommended list:

diapers- obviously
wipes- to accompany the diapers, and to wash hands, faces, tray tables, arm rests, seat cushions, dropped toys, and your shoes after a child drops his lunch on them.
snacks- for when your kids won't eat the "yucky" "weird" or "funny" food in the $8 plane meal or the $5 snack box and can't seem to survive on peanuts and apple juice.
dvd player- because even with headphones or the fancy seat-back tvs, your kids won't be entertained by Seinfeld re-runs or Confessions of a Shop-a-holic.
a change of clothes for everyone- because when one kid spills his juice seconds after the flight attendant hands it to him in a lid-less cup filled to the brim (why? Do they not have kids? Do they know what "half-full" means?) you all will have sticky and wet laps.
lollipops, big ones- because when all else fails, even the baby can be quieted for five or ten minutes by sucking on some crystallized high-fructose corn syrup and artificial flavors. Just time it so you are at least on the descent before the sugar high kicks in.

Once you get to the airport, check everything you can. Stop at every bathroom you pass, just in case its the last one you might see. Do your best going through security. Know that everything will have to pass through the xray machine, so be prepared to remove babies and toddlers from the strollers (those kid leashes are helpful here) along with everything else and try to get it on the belt, along with all 6 pairs of shoes, while simultaneously holding on to your small child and id cards. Then after giving them non-stop lectures about never letting go of your and never moving more than 2 steps away from you- force them to go one by one without you through the security scanner and hope that your watch doesn't beep  and cause a delay while your four children stand on the other side of the detector sobbing while a guard has to pat down mommy for stray deadly weapons. Just practice smiling and saying "I'm so sorry, we are going as fast as we can." to everyone around you. Arrive at your boarding area a little early. Decide if you want to pre-board or wait to be the last ones on the plane.

I prefer to pre-board and make a pre-take off trip to the bathroom and galley and try to make friends with the flight attendants before we take off. You never know when you might need that extra bag of cookies. You are less likely to have to climb over people to get to your seat, will have first access to the blankets (only use the shrink wrapped ones, you never know what the guy before you was breathing on them) and plenty of time to start answering all those questions. Bring out all the toys, especially little ones that drop. This way you will easily get to know all of the people around you right away, since you will have to ask them to retrieve things for you throughout the flight.

Don't forget to charge the batteries for the portable DVD player, along with headphones and a few favorite movies.

Bring a book for yourself. You probably won't get to read it, but it might make a good prop for car ramps or Barbie furniture or something, or maybe a fan when the air is out.

Finally, make sure you have a few kind-hearted relatives meet you at your destination to help with collecting luggage, finding a rental car, and most importantly, to hug your sticky, tired kids while you breathe freely for a minute and remind yourself why you got on the plane in the first place. Bonus points if you can convince them to sit in back with the kids while you drive home.

Enjoy your flight!!

Little feet and a big sky. Trying some phone pics in desperate times.

Because I am a Mother

Because I am a mother,
My to-do list will never be completed
I will not ever sleep through the night
There will always be socks to match and clothes to fold
My shopping cart will contain three kinds of milk, brightly colored breakfast cereal, and crackers shaped like animals
The bathroom sink will be smeared with sparkling toothpaste every morning and night
Cheerios will always be under the dining table, in the car seat, and in the diaper bag
There will be toys, books, and blankies on my couch at all times
There are safety locks on my cabinets, gates on the stairs, covers on the outlets, and nothing but indestructibles in the bottom kitchen cabinets
I will never wear skinny jeans or have six-pack abs
There are finger prints on the windows and doors

Because I am a mother,
I can change diapers in small spaces, on moving targets, in less than 30 seconds, and in the dark
I can nod in understanding instead of condemnation when I pass a toddler having a tantrum in the cereal aisle
I know the cartoon character features on the waistband of every brand of disposable diaper
I can swaddle a baby doll in a cloth napkin
I have a favorite smelling brand of baby shampoo
I know about five point harnesses, latch hooks and tether straps, locking clips, and booster seats
I sort toys boxes and Halloween candy for choking hazards and lead paint
I can mix formula in a moving vehicle, breastfeed in a crowded restaurant, and know which chains serve applesauce as a side dish
I buy tissues, vapor rub, Motrin, decongestant, and band aids in bulk quantities
I have the appointment line at the pediatrician's office on my speed dial
I can find the lost socks and discarded eye glasses and misplaced homework that are invisible to everyone else.

Because I am a mother,
I can get up at 3 in the morning to hold my daughter's hair while she gets sick or help stop a bloody nose or nurse a baby or chase away a nightmare
I have magic kisses and healing hugs
I can change diapers, wipe bottoms, brush teeth, wipe noses, wash faces, and bandage scrapes without getting sick, but only for my own children
I can count carbs, lance a tiny finger, and give injections of life-sustaining medicine as well as any pediatric nurse
I can properly floss 16 orthodontic brackets in five minutes or less
I have watched and survived a tonsillectomy, nasal surgery and vein cauterization, tear duct probing, iv insertion, nursemaids elbow, insulin emergencies, measles, scarlet fever, casts, stitches, and swine flu and can honestly mean it when I say "This hurts me more than it does you."

Because I am a mother,
I know three ways to make chicken nuggets from scratch
I have eaten cereal for dinner
I know how to hide veggies and fruit in foods my kids like
I have made more peanut butter sandwiches than I can count
I decorate tiny cupcakes at 10PM for class parties
I can make a birthday cake for $3 look almost as good as a $30 cake from the store
I have cut Jello with cookie cutters, put food coloring in mashed potatoes, and only ever fill glasses half way
I bake cookies for someone else and don't actually mind
Most of my kitchen tools are in the sand box, there are tiny flour hand prints on my jeans when I bake, and I never get to lick the beaters anymore

Because I am a mother,
I know what a striker does on a soccer team
I know French words for ballet poses
I can demonstrate a pike position
I can pitch a fastball strike
I became an instant football fan and know how to score that extra point
I have cheered for home runs, soccer goals, touchdowns, and cartwheels
I know the difference between phonics and whole language instruction
I can sing the days of the week to five different tunes
I have twirled like a ballerina, waltzed with Cinderella, wiggled to the chicken dance, done the hokey pokey in the living room
I know where to look for ladybugs on the playground, how to catch ants for an ant farm, and have picked up slugs, snails, and grasshoppers to put in a jar

Because I am a mother,
I can wield a light-saber or a pirate sword with a baby on my hip
I have fought aliens, pirates, monsters, and witches
I have played the part of evil stepmothers and handsome princes, robotic aliens and masked heroes
I have created batman masks and princess tiaras and holiday t-shirts with nothing but a glue gun and a sharpie
There will always be crayons, cars, lollipops, and band-aids in the bottom of my purse
I have caught and fed lizards, turtles, frogs, bugs, crayfish, and goldfish
I know the theme song to cartoons and find myself humming them in random places
I will always narrate as I drive, even when I forget there is no one in the back seat
I read bedtime stories and board books instead of classics
I know the words to countless lullabies and primary songs
I can rhyme anything

Because I am a mother,
I can say a child's name and induce comfort, fear, giggles, remorse, or attention just by changing my voice and am awed by the power of my attentions
I display vases of wilting dandelions and wear colored macaroni necklaces with pride
I have jumped for joy, cheered out loud, swelled with pride, and beamed with accomplishment along side my children
I have winced in pain, cried tears of sadness, felt the sting of disappointment, and struggled with frustration and failure with my children
I am the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny, a leprechaun, and Santa Claus
I will fight school administrators, stand up to bullies, educate school nurses, and won't hesitate to step up to battles I would never fight for myself

Because I am a mother,
I stay up late at night worrying about the future
I make lists of how I can do better and find motivation in tiny hands and big blue eyes
I pray harder and longer and more frequently than ever before
I have listened to simple faith-filled prayers and watched tiny miracles result
My fears are strong and my faith is stronger
I feel powerful and helpless, guilty and proud, accomplished and a failure, all at the same time

Because I am a mother,
I know what it is to love someone unconditionally, instantaneously, and eternally

Sometimes

I remember one evening picking my child up from a play date. It was dinner time, and the mother in the home was a woman I very much admired. Her oldest was just a few years older than mine, so she still had kids my age but was a few years farther along in the "school of moms." As I arrived she was flipping grilled cheese sandwiches and warming canned soup for dinner.
It is hard to describe the feeling of relief I felt when I saw that spatula. I suddenly felt validated- that it was OK to feed your kids canned soup and cheese sandwiches for dinner. No one had ever told me it was OK to just do something simple when you were busy and kids were crazy and you had about five minutes before they all stated screaming that they were starving to death. I really thought that to be a good mom I should be feeding my kids a four course meal with three vegetable choices and homemade whole wheat bread from flour that I had ground myself that morning. That somehow my husband needed a "real dinner" and would be disappointed in kid food. Not that I was doing those things, I just felt guilty every time I didn't.
I have, in the five years since that night, learned a few lessons in the mom school. I have learned that my husband is happy that the kids are alive and fed when he gets home in the evening and he is grateful for clean socks that aren't yet folded, and doesn't care a bit about what I feed the kids for dinner as long as I stay under budget and they are healthy. I have learned that my kids LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches and canned soup for dinner and don't really care for wheat bread (in fact, I have discovered that one of them has an allergy to wheat bran, forever freeing this mom from guilt over white flour and wonder bread!) or green vegetables. That there are worse things than getting caught with piles of clean laundry on the sofa when company shows up, and that it is perfectly OK to take your preschooler to school in his superman pajamas and your daughter to church without hair ribbons. And I have learned that someone needs to tell us this stuff!
Why was seeing my friend making real food for her family such an eye-opening experience? Why aren't we more honest with each other about how things really are? And why didn't anyone just tell me all of this sooner?
So here it is moms. This post is for all of the moms still figuring things out (isn't that all of us?) who need some validation for their real-life moments. And thank you Megan G, where ever you are, for not hiding your spatula!
Sometimes it is OK to:
* feed your children canned soup for dinner, with white bread toast covered in processed cheese
* have a cereal party in the living room as a reward for a long, tiring day
* let them play in the mud puddles since their socks are wet any way
* show up to church or school or the birthday party with a girl in mismatched clothes she picked out herself
* take a walk around the block with a miniature Batman riding a stick pony
* skip preschool in favor of a cartoon snuggle fest
* let your kids spend the whole day in pajamas, or heck even spend the whole day in pj's yourself
* take a nap while they watch TV
* eat ice cream for lunch
* go to preschool when all your kids' friends are at home
* don't go to preschool when all your kids' friends do
* shoot laser eyes at the old woman in the store who tells you to "enjoy them while they are small" while one is crying, one is climbing out of the cart, one is poopy, and the other is home with strep throat, and then go home and enjoy them only while they are sleeping
* go to bed without brushing their teeth
* leave them with a sitter while you go sit in the car and do nothing
* fill a lunch box with waffles, string cheese, and juice boxes and call it a picnic
* at the end of the day, have nothing to check off your to-do list but "play trains" and "go to sleep"
* show up to a birthday without a gift (mom will be glad anyway)
* not have a birthday party for any kid under 6, because they won't remember them anyway
* throw away the whole-class party invites your preschooler brings home and instead set up a play date with a kid she actually likes
* take a picture of the worst messes, throw the kid in the tub, and ignore it until the urge to scream or cry passes
* say no to ballet/tap/jazz classes, tiny tot sports leagues, infant swim classes, or violin lessons for your kid who still sleeps with a night light and eats with her fingers. Tigers are endangered for a reason.
* admit that you don't know the answer and look it up later
* to let your kid sleep in your bed when they have a bad dream
* let your baby cry themselves to sleep if you think it is best
* rock your baby to sleep every night if you think it is best
*say you are sorry to a child when you make a mistake
*cheer when they finally go to sleep, kiss them in the dark, and pray that tomorrow will be better

Sometimes motherhood is really hard. Sometimes it is really fun. All of the time, it is worth it!

I looked out the window and what did I see

A simple mothering pleasure today- my kids make me laugh, and give me opportunity to be creative in different ways, like making popcorn magic.

We were having popcorn for a snack. I guess it has been a while since we ate popcorn and R, age 4, found an unpopped kernel at the bottom of the bowl. She asked what that "tiny nut" was doing in her snack. I told her it was a popcorn seed that hadn't turned into popcorn yet. Her eyes lit up and her smile grew and she clutched that little kernel in her fist before standing up and enthusiastically explaining that "It is a popcorn seed! Popcorn seeds grow into- popcorn trees! We can plant it and make a popcorn tree! Please can I go outside and bury it?"

She ran into the backyard with her sand shovel and planted her seed in a nice sunny spot and then gave it a splash of rainwater from a bucket. She has been watching hourly for it to start growing.

I have plans for that little seed, because she is only going to be that little and believe in the magic of popcorn trees* right now. Not next year or next month. So tonight while she sleeps in tribute to jack and the beanstalk, a little tree a lot like an azalea branch is going to magically sprout up in that spot. And while she naps later that afternoon, its blooms are going to turn into popcorn balls!

Because I am a mom and I believe in magic popcorn seeds, and it is up to me to see that my kids do, too!

*A favorite song of the children in our church is "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree,"  because blossoms on the apricot trees in spring look like popcorn. The small ones can't actually see a difference and to their eyes, those trees really are covered in popcorn!

How to make cookies

How to make cookies, By Miss B, age 3.

1. Drop some eggs in the bowl, try not to crush the shells too small or mom won't be able to get them out.
2. Mash them up with the whisker until the yellow mixes up with the clear. Don't taste it, or mom will make you spit and wash your hands.
3. Get a new bowl and plop in the butter sticks. Taste when no one is looking. Mom likes the little finger prints in it.
4. Dump in lots of sugar, the white sandy kind and the brown sticky kind. This part is good for tasting.
5. Cover your ears while mom uses the beaters, but don't leave the room so you can have one to lick when she is done.
6. Plop in the eggs. Taste first, because now mom wont let you anymore. Help stir the slimy stuff with the good stuff.
7. Keep stirring while mom puts in lots of spoons of white stuff. Don't taste, most of them are yucky.
8. Help scoop and dump in the flour. Not too high or it will make dust. Stick your hands in the canister while she is busy wiping the dust off. It is fun to squeeze and pat and makes the floor really slippery for ice skating.
9. Help stir until your arms get tired, then let mom do it. Play in the four dust until she is done.
10. Help drop in the chocolate chips. See how many you can grab and stick in your mouth before they disappear into the cookie dough.
11. Watch mom scoop ball onto the flat pans.
12. Wait, and wait, and wait some more. Keep looking through the oven window to see if they are done.
13. Yell really loud when the timer rings so your mom doesn't forget to take them out. Wait longer for them to not burn your fingers.
14. Eat with milk.

Surviving Sacrament Meeting

This month our Relief Society Meeting will be about improving reverence during sacrament meeting. Specifically, improving reverent behavior of children. We were asked to have this meeting by the bishopric- I guess their view from the front is better than mine and they saw a pressing need. I can't say I saw the same one, but it may be because I was so busy trying to keep my kids quiet and pick up the dropped cereal and take the toddler to the potty and the crying baby to the foyer that I missed the irreverent behavior they were so concerned about. Regardless, we went to work.

We decided on a workshop format instead of a Sunday lesson. After all, stressed out moms know perfectly well when it is their kid that has the problem and don't need to be told they are lacking or lectured about reverence or parenting, esp with helpful comments delivered by child-less women that are just complaints about how they can't hear the speaker. They need resources and practical advice from other moms, more easily delivered in one of those meetings that used to be called enrichment meetings but are now just "meetings."
So we will be having an open discussion of "what works for me" and making some toys to try out on our kids. Because we all know that lists of ideas are great but we never have time to make them after we leave. We need to leave with it finished in our hands or it isn't going to get done. Or maybe that's just me?
I have been busy pinning lots of Sunday activities and gathering ideas. I thought I would share some of them with you. Here's my pinboard of Sunday ideas.

We will make three of four of them that day, as well as have a display table of some successful Sunday bags and their contents for examples of toys and books and snacks that are appropriate for Sacrament Meeting.  We are encouraging those sisters without young children to come anyway, to contribute to the discussion and share survivor stories, as well as to make some toys for kids in our ward who didn't have a mom to craft for them- those who come with single fathers, foster parents, grandparents, visitors, or investigators. Wouldn't it be great to be able to hand new members a welcome packet with something for their kids to do in all those new meetings?
We thought about having refreshment made of "Sacrament Meetings greatest hits" but decided a room full of moms didn't need cheerios and gold fish. So we are doing a "sacrament meeting rejects" table instead- fruity drinks, gooey chocolate, crumbly cake, etc. Bad examples are effective teaching tools as well, right?
And of course there will be child care available, because the last people we want to stay home and miss because they had no where to take their kids, are the women who have no where to take their kids when they need to get away. They are probably alone on Sunday as well and need all the support they can get! We asked the member of the bishopric that told us to give the lesson to provide the child care, it seemed only fair. :)

Here is the cartoon I used in the flyer. It really captures the feelings of most parents on Sunday afternoon!

Finally, I made a handout of some rules for Sacrament Meeting Survival. I thought I would share them here. Feel free to add any of your own in the comments. I might steal them and add them in later!

Surviving Sacrament Meeting

1.     Prepare with care. If it can, it will.

If it can beep, honk, ring, squeak, ding, or sing, it will. If it can break, tear, drip, leak, crumble, smear, or spill, it will. If it can fly, bounce, roll, or zoom, it will. If it can be made to bark, neigh, cry, or vroom, it will. Bring soft, quiet, contained, and mess free snacks and toys.

2.     The Party is in the Pew.  Foyer = No Fun Zone

The best books, toys, snacks, and company are in the pew. If you want the good stuff, be good and stay in the chapel. The foyer is one big time-out chair where you have to sit perfectly still, fold your arms, and be ignored by your parent. It’s a boring and lonely place. Better to stick it out in the chapel. If you take your fussy kids out of the chapel to the foyer and reward them with snacks and snuggles and friends and run around space, you are rewarding the behavior that got them there in the first place. Next week, they will misbehave to come out even sooner.

3.     Practice Makes Perfect.

Practice sitting quietly and whispering at home during the week. Start small, say 5 minutes. Gradually work up to 30 minutes of quiet time, sitting quietly and playing with the Sunday toys and books on the couch. Reward them with lots of praise and treats for each success. When you are first starting out, try for silence and stillness during prayers and work up to the time the sacrament is passed.  Then shoot for the rest hymn. Have a party the first week they make it all the way to the closing prayer.

Keep coming. Come to church every week, even if you only make it through the sacrament. Consistent expectations and lots of chances to practice will lead to success.

4.     This too shall pass. And then they grow up.

Older children will require less hands-on care. Once they are school age they can be expected to sit for an hour without snacks, potty breaks, or toys (they do it all day at school!) and a pencil and paper is all they need to stay busy. They can sing hymns, read scriptures, and listen for keywords or stories during talks. Once they are old enough to be baptized and make covenants, they should be mature enough to sit quietly and reverently while the sacrament is being passed.

5.     Call in reinforcements. We’re all in this together. 

Younger children do best with one-on-one care during sacrament meeting. If you have a bench full, or are there by yourself on Sundays, get some help.  Search out an older couple who miss their grandkids and would be happy to hold your baby while you play with the toddler, or and mother of self-contained teens who would happily play finger games with the preschooler while you rock the fussy baby. Teen girls and young married couples are also valuable Sunday resources. If there aren’t openly friendly faces around you on Sunday, try asking your bishop or RS president for recommendations. I would look for the member who complains most vocally to the leadership about the disruptions and ask for their help. You will get the extra hands you need, or after a week they will be more understanding and stop complaining. J

Last Minute Advent Ideas

I have an entire pintrest board full of super cute advent calendar or Christmas countdown ideas. But since it is November 30 and I haven't made any of those, I am looking for alternatives that do not require any of the following:
A sillohette or circut machine
A pile of cute Christmas paper
A string of Christmas socks
A stack tiny matchboxes, magnet boxes, or the like
An expensive toy-a-day calendar
Hand sewn tiny felt envelopes on a string
A selection of hand-stamped colored by hand, layered and distressed cute Christmas tags
Anything expensive, made in advance, or requiring intensive prep work
Access to Christmas decorations or supplies still tucked away in storage for at least another week (so we can't start decorating the tree or anything yet)

In you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some links I have rounded up that can be used at the last minute and my non-to-do how-to.

First, grab a container. Any container. A large envelope, an empty jar, a mitten with no mate, a cereal bowl, whatever. Kids aren't nearly as picky as we adults think they are. Or you can do small containers and number them- envelopes, plastic bags, a stack of index cards, baby food jars, plastic cups even. I used a pile of empty m&ms minis that my toddler had been hoarding. I found 15 of them.
If you are doing small containers, number them 1-25, or do 1-12 if you are getting a late start and go for hte 12 days of Christmas. You can stamp numbers, write on stickers, draw them on with sharpie, etc. I found a stray page of gift labels from last year (the To:/From: things) and stuck those on. Because I only had 15, I had to double up on a few. I will just save #1-10 after we use it and refill for days 15-25.

Now display it in some way. Hang on a clothesline, stack on the piano, hang them on a bulletin board, hide it until its time to use it like I have to do, or whatever. Tie a bow on the container and put it under the tree?

Now, make a countdown. Type up a list of activities on your computer and cut it in to strips, or hand write them on cards or tags, or find a ready made list and print it off. Stick the strips in your container or in the corresponding numbered container and you are good to go. Another last minute hint- only fill the first two or three. Add the next ones a few at a time as you go along. That way you can change your mind, change activities, etc based on your schedule, how crazy the weekend was, or find a quiet activitiy for when the toddler gets sick and everyone has to stay home from the Christmas party.

I am going to fold mine into little stars before I put them in the tubes.

OK, all done! Ready for some ideas on what to put on those strips, tags, cards, or papers? Here are some links:

A scripture a day- names of Christ- they use it as a tree decorating game but it woudl work for 12 days of Christmas

A scripture and activity a day- LDS- for older kids and adults

Christ-centered Activity Advent

A book and craft a day Advent

A Story, song, scripture advent book to download

A list of 100 advent activities all ready for you to print and cut


A few more ideas-

look at all the cute little food and treat ideas on pintrest and make one a day (this will take some planning, and a few trips to the store)

pick your age range (toddler, preschooler, school age, or adult) and goggle/pintrest crafts for that age. Again will take some trips to the store, but there are way more than 24 ideas that you will love.

A service advent- 24 things to do to help other people. Small (make your sisters bed) to large (adopt a family from the local shelter) just list all the things you can think of and try to do a random or deliberate act of kindness a day.

And finally, my list from last year that you can't see unless you are a member so here is the cut and paste:

Activity Advent List of Ideas

Watch the First Presidency Christmas Devotional
Watch the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Special on PBS
Go to the county tree lighting ceremony
Visit Lights of the South (a local walk and drive through light display)
Decorate the Christmas tree
Leave shoes by the door for Saint Nicholas
Set up Nativity scenes
Go to pajama story time at the bookstore
Go breakfast with Santa at the school
Visit Santa at the Mall
Make and deliver treats for friends
Make a gift for your teachers
Watch a favorite Christmas movie and eat red and green popcorn balls
Visit Lights Before Christmas at the Zoo
Write a letter to Santa Claus
Drive through the neighborhood and look at lights while eating popcorn and hot chocolate
Make Saint Lucia Day rolls for breakfast
Watch Christmas specials on TV
Do a secret act of service
Earn some money and donate it to the Angel Tree at school
Buy a toy for Toys 4 Tots
Decorate the outside of the house
Make something yummy and invite a family over to share it with
Go to the church Christmas party
Visit the gingerbread house village at the museum
Make a gingerbread house
Watch the Christmas parade
Go to the school Christmas concert
Have a sleepover under the Christmas tree
Make cookies for Santa
Watch the Nativity on DVD
Read the Christmas story from the Bible and act it out
Make a birthday cake for Jesus
Write thank you notes for gifts
Take down the Christmas tree
Donate three items of clothing or toys to Goodwill
Write down five things you learned to do in 2010
Make a New Year's Resolution
Call out of town relatives at midnight to shout Happy New Year

And if you are still stuck, here is my list for this year.
Write a letter to Santa and mail it


Build a Christmas Tree and decorate it

Go see lights at the city park, drive around to see neighborhood lights

Leave out Shoes for Saint Nicholaus

Watch the First Presidency Christmas Special and set up Nativities

Do a Secret Service act today

Read your favorite Christmas book to an Elf

Make a Sock Snowman

Make a graham cracker nativity scene or house

Make Christmas cookies

Read a list of the names of Jesus, which is your favorite?

Rock around the Christmas tree- put on music and have a dance party!

Get a toy for toys for tots and bring it to the Art Gala

Read the pop up Christmas book and make a pop up card for someone special

Make candy cane play dough

Tell Christmas Jokes. Call a relative and tell them your favorites

Make a yummy gift for your teacher. Write a letter telling them something you have learned this year or thanking them for their hard work

Read the words of your favorite Christmas song like a poem. Sing together around the tree

Make snow for the window while watching a Christmas show.

Go to the ward Christmas party and bring something yummy to eat.

Have a hot chocolate tasting party. What is your favorite flavor: marshmallow, peanut butter, candy cane, super chocolate, or?

Play the lost sheep game. What does this game teach us about Jesus?

Mail Christmas cards and packages, bring a treat for the postal worker

Have a Christmas workshop- make gifts for cousins, siblings, and grandparents. Make treats to give away to church teachers. Wrap presents.

Watch your favorite Christmas movie in a blanket tent

I hear you

Funny how everyone really just wants to be heard and understood.

This week my baby has started responding to the baby signs we have been teaching her. She understands "milk" "more" "water" "eat" and "up" and has started signing "more" and "up" as well as clapping her hands when she likes something. It is so nice to be able to understand just a little bit more of what she is trying to tell me. Most of my day is spent trying to decipher her various cries and grunts and squeals, usually unsuccessfully. However, I love that moment when I have correctly guessed what she wants, signed the right thing in front of her frustrated little face, when she knows that I know what she wants and am going to give it to her, and there is a brief moment of connection and relief in both of our eyes as the crying stops and her needs are met and transforms back into my happy baby.

I have similar moments, though not as frequent with my toddler. Often she says seemingly random things that make no sense to anyone but her or are completely out of context and unrelated to what is going on. I found that when I am really listening to her, and in tune with her thoughts, I can often do a backwards kind of thought map that will lead from the strange comment to a recent expereince or conversation we have had that leads back around to the current situation and makes everything "fit." Her random thoughts and silly stories become useful insights into her memories and the way that she sees the world around her.
For example, when she said at dinner that "She would her carrots and become a true princess" her sister wondered out loud what carrots had to do with royalty. Nothing really, except her daddy reminds her every night that eating her veggies will help her grow long and shiny, and Dora in her latest adventure became a "true princess" and ended up with long hair, and obviously if she wanted to be a princess she needed long hair and the way to make that happen was to eat her veggies. And I started searching for princess books about little girls with short curly red hair to give her princess dreams some variety!
I don't think that is a need our kids ever outgrow, either. My son's biggest and loudest complaint is often, "You aren't listening to me!" It seems the worst I can do to him is to argue with him or punish him without having let him speak and listening to his side of things. He usually ends up in trouble anyway (throwing the football in the living room is a time out offense, regardless of how you try to explain it away) but resists less if I have taken a moment to listen to him.
I found my oldest daughter in her room crying a few nights ago. Her feelings had been hurt. Not from teasing or being left out or unfairly punished, but from being told to "stop talking" one too many times. She just wanted someone to listen to her.

I think we are all like that. We just want to be heard. I am going to make a more conscious effort to listen, really listen, to those around me this week. I am excited about what I might hear!

Thanks and Giving

November is always a busy month at our house. We have two birthdays, a wedding anniversary, and that little holiday called Thanksgiving usually gets squished in between cleaning up the birthday streamers and setting up the Christmas tree. This year, I am going to try to place more importance on the holiday that gives us a chance to focus on counting our blessings and giving thanks to Heavenly Father for all he has given us as well as "giving back" with service to others. I have been concerned about my children's attitude regarding things and money and the overall feeling of entitlement that seems to everywhere these days. I want my kids to learn to be grateful for what they have instead of always wanting more, stop expecting to be given things without having to work for them, not expecting payment or some sort of reward for everything they do, and remembering to say thank you to people and express gratitude to the Lord for what they are given. Seems like a fitting Thanksgiving lesson right?
This year I am trying something new- a whole month of Thanksgiving!
We usually put up Thanks and Giving Trees the week before Thanksgiving, but we are starting tomorrow instead. I hope to have more leaves than ever before! We usually just make one tree and work on it as a family so it doesn't turn into a contest.
Then last week I saw this post about a Thanksgiving Advent and thought "I can do that!" 
However, I don't do a lot of paper crafting so mine won't be that pretty. Instead I'm going to make some construction paper turkeys and use numbered tail feathers. Just a brown pear-shaped body/head with colored feathers in a fan shape behind. Kind of like this:

A number on the front of the feather with a coordinating a blessing and activity on the back. You don't need a pattern, just wing it!
I had the kids brainstorm a list of things they were thankful for, from silly to profound. Ironically, my 3 yr old gave answers like "Jesus" and "My family" while her older siblings went silly with things like "toilet paper" or "Halloween candy" in a test to see if I would really write down all of their ideas. Oh well. They made it 100 without too much help, so I will use that list to get started. I tried to use all of their ideas, no matter how silly they seemed, so they knew their contributions were important. I also put in a day for each family member, even the ones who weren't having a birthday, so everyone was included. I aimed for a mix of service, fun, work, and thank you's. And I worked around our calendar as much as possible to avoid making more work for myself- like the open house that was already scheduled or the flu shots they were going to have to get anyway.

Here is our first week if you need some ideas:

1. We are grateful for books. Go to the library and bring a thank you note for the librarians.
2. We are grateful for music. Thank your music teacher for helping you learn and spend an extra 15 minutes practicing. OR listen to a new song and do a dance for mommy and daddy.
3. We are grateful for our beds. Make someone else's bed in secret today.
4. We are grateful for tv. Watch a good movie or show together as a family.
5. We are grateful for our family. Take a family picture.
6. We are grateful for B. Do something nice for her today to make her birthday extra special!
7. We are grateful for school. Go to the open house and volunteer to host. Tell visitors how great your school is and grateful you are for all of the special learning opportunities you receive there.
8. We are grateful for trees. Collect some colored leaves from outside and make a picture to hang on the wall. Send one to each grandparent.
9. We are grateful for modern medicine and flu shots. Go get a flu shot and don't whine about it!
10. We are grateful for dentists. Go to the dentist and get your teeth cleaned. Show off your shiny smile and take silly pictures of each other.
11. We are grateful for food. Help make dinner. Make extra to freeze and give to a relative who will have a baby soon.
12. We are grateful for pizza. Have a mobile pizza party- take pizza and treats to your cousins for a surprise. Play games and have fun!
13. We are grateful for church. Write a thank you note to someone at church who has helped you in some way.
14. We are grateful for L. Do something to make her birthday extra special!
15. We are grateful for new babies. Make a gift for your newest cousins and deliver or mail it.

I'll post the rest of our list next week as we go. Today, we still have to finish up with Halloween. There are pumpkins to carve and cookies to make and costumes to find one last time. And baby is asleep, so I better get started!

Happy Thanksgiving month!

Baby Food

Dear baby,


Books are not food. Computer cords are not food. Shoes are not food. Your sister's homework folder is not food. The remote is not food. Food is food! Now please eat your food. No, not that food! The baby food! *sigh*

Love you anyways,

Mommy.

PS. your toes are an acceptable substitute

I am grateful for little girls who turn on the light

We have had a very eventful few weeks over here. Thursday my oldest daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. After a few scary hours in the ER and a few more hard days in the hospital, and a long week of learning and adjusting and recovering, things are almost starting to feel normal again. I thought I would start off with a gratitude list, to help me keep things in perspective.

1. I am grateful my daughter is alive. Without the medical intervention she received last weekend, she wouldn't be.

2. I am grateful that I know her well enough to notice that she was sick, not just in need of an earlier bed time or more water or chapstick. That my husband works crazy long hours so I can stay home and mother my kids all the time. I think it would have taken much longer to notice all of the subtle signs of illness if I only got to see her a few hours before bed.

3. I am grateful for the bathroom light. It woke me up every time she had to get out of bed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, another symptom that would otherwise have gone unnoticed.

4.I am grateful for a school teacher who was willing to allow my daughter to carry water bottles around all day drinking, and then let her go to the bathroom 6 times a day. The water kept her from getting seriously dehydrated those last few days before the diagnosis. And the bathroom monitoring led her to ask for a note from home, asking for permission to go to the bathroom so much. This was one of the things that told me maybe there was something going on- if she needed a doctor's note to go to the bathroom so much, maybe there was a medical reason for the problem.

5. I am grateful for technology. Although WebMD and other google health diagnosis tools can sometimes be dangerous because they lead people to believe they have something they don't or keep sick people from going to the doctor, they can be really useful tools as well. After some quick research before bed, I knew she had all the symptoms for diabetes. That gave me an entire sleepless night (interrupted by a few bathroom lights and a nursing infant) to get used to the idea, so when the doctor delivered the diagnosis, I already knew what she was going to say and didn't have to adjust right there in front of the doctor and could answer some of my daughter's questions on the way to the hospital.

6. I am thankful for quiet answers to prayers. I went to bed the night before unsure about what to do next. I didn't want to take her to the doctor for unnecessary tests or be one of those alarmist moms who thinks its a crisis every time their kid gets a stomach ache or feels tired. But I didn't want to ignore a potentially serious problem. I said a simple prayer asking for guidance and peace when I went to bed that night. I woke up certain that I needed to take her to doctor. I had no doubts that she was very sick, that she was experiencing the onset symptoms of type 1 diabetes, and that we needed to visit the doctor that day. And so I made an appointment, dropped the toddler with a sitter, and picked my girl up from school and we went to the doctor. I felt calm and was able to do it all very matter-of-factly.

7. I am thankful for the Spirit and it's power to calm and strengthen the hearth of a mother who needs to be there for her daughter. When the doctor told me I was handling the news of the diagnosis surprisingly well, I wanted to reply that it was miraculously well- that it was only by Divine intervention that I wasn't falling apart right before her eyes. I wasn't a rock or a robot- I still cried right along with my daughter as soon as the doctor left the room. My voice caught when I had to return to the school and tell her teacher she would not be returning to school that day or the next. I get teary when I make her cry with an unsuccessful finger prick or painful injection. There was a moment in our training when we had to learn to give insulin shots, that my husband and daughter had to leave to go to the restroom at just the right moment, so I could sit alone with the nurse for three minutes and cry my eyes out. But I could pull myself back together in time to do what I had to do.

8. I am grateful for a diagnosis. As much as you hate to be told you have a chronic condition that will require lifelong treatment and lifestyle adjustments, at least we know what is wrong and how to treat it. My sister has been struggling for years with her son. He has something that is affecting his development and motor skills. They know something is wrong but a string of doctors and specialists still can't say what it is or how to treat it. I think I would rather know and be able to move forward. And I am thankful for the vending machine full of chocolate that was a full five minute walk away from our ER room that gave me a chance to walk away for a few minutes when I really needed to.

9. I am grateful for family. I didn't expect to go to the doctor and be told to drive right to the children's hospital two hours away, to be admitted and stay over night. When I left my toddler with her aunt, we both expected it to be for a few hours. When I called and asked her to keep her indefinitely, as well as pick my son up from school, feed them both dinner and just wait to know what was happening, she didn't hesitate to ask how else she could help. She kept them both the following day as well. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have that kind of support network in place. I can't imagine how much harder it would have been if I had to take everyone with me, or to send her on to the hospital alone because I had to be with the other kids, or to have to choose. As soon as we knew we would be late getting home that night, my mother-in-law went straight from her long day of work to my home so my kids could go to sleep on time in their own beds, prepared to stay the night if needed and send them off to school the next morning before going back to work. Then she did it again the next night as well. My mom couldn't be here physically, but she called each to let me know she was thinking about us and praying for us and just to let me talk to someone. My sisters called to check on me, to give me a much needed outlet to just talk to someone while I worried away the hours on my daughter's first day back at school. My older sister is a nurse and also dealing with gestational diabetes- she could empathizee with Lenna and give me tips like how to make the shots hurt a little less and which sugar-free ice cream tastes the most like the real thing.

10. I am grateful we live within driving distance to a nationally-ranked children's hospital that was staffed with pediatric endocrinologists who knew how to stabilize and treat our daughter and educate me and my husband on how to care for her after we left.

11. I am grateful for a hospital full of nurses and staff that are used to working with kids and had my daughter smiling by bedtime, in spite of everything she had just gone through. And that they let me stay the night, even though I had to keep a nursing baby with me.

12. I am grateful for health insurance. So that when we left the hospital with a $9,500 bill and a stack of prescriptions totaling over $400, we didn't have to worry about how to pay for it on top of everything else. We still have a pretty big bill leftover after the insurance paid its share, but at least it is manageable. 

13. I am grateful for Mike's job. So that when I called and said "I'm on the way to the hospital." he only had to tell his supervisor that there was an emergency and was able to leave right away, for as long as he needed, and no one gave him a hard time about it. That they paid him for his time anyway. That he was able to work extra hours the next few weekends to so he didn't have to lose vacation days and earned overtime pay so we could more easily pay the hospital bill.

14. I am grateful to our ward family here who make daily phone calls to tell us they are concerned, offers for babysitting, and for those who bring meals, because "when you are concerned and don't know what to say and want to help and don't know how, you bring food." Thank you for the food.

15. I am grateful to the school nurse who knows what she is doing, for a teacher who lets my daughter eat in class and make up tests she failed while she was sick and didn't know it (but still had fuzzy brain cells from all the sugar) and guidance counselors who take time from their schedule to do presentations to fourth graders about diabetes and blood sugar and the difference between diseases you can catch and those you can't and feature slide shows about little girls with IVs and glucose meters and "nurse buddies" and morning snacks and Halloween party cupcakes.

16. I am grateful for insulin. And glucose meters. And lancing devises. And syringes. Even though I hate them. I am grateful to have them so that my daughter can get better and stay alive and go back to being a kid and worrying about spelling tests and running races and how to make a spaghetti and meatballs costume for Halloween.

17. I am grateful to recipes on the back of graham cracker boxes that can be made with sugar-free pudding and cool whip so that my daughter can make and share and eat dessert and feel normal.

18.I am grateful for nap time.

19. I am grateful to my husband, who is everything I am not. For being strong when I am weak, for being brave when I am scared, for being an advocate when I am intimidated, for being efficient when I am frazzled, for being helpful when I am overwhelmed, for working while I sleep. For bringing food and clean clothes and a toothbrush. For keeping an eye on the forest while I am fretting about the trees. For priesthood blessings.

20. I am grateful for my girl, who never ceases to amaze me with all she can do and be and learn and will become. I am so excited to see her grow up into all that ability and potential. I am grateful for the privilege of being her mother and getting to watch her do it all and maybe come along for the ride sometimes.

21. And she says she is grateful that she never has to fast on Fast Sundays anymore and for sugar-free jell-o and chocolate bars.

Guardians of Virtue

Today I taught a lesson in our Sunday Relief Society meeting about the Law of Chastity. I think it went well, and hope the direction I took with it was helpful to the women in our ward.
I heard a few horror stories from relatives that had participated in the same lesson a few weeks ago. About discussions that went off track to debate birth control, same-sex marriage, and public school education. I wasn't sure exactly how I wanted the lesson to go, but I knew what I didn't want it to turn into. So I spent the week looking for a way to present the lesson material to my target audience- mostly women in their 50s and 60s with a few young mother's thrown in- in a way that was relevant to their situation that would invite participation and discussion but not debate and would not make anyone uncomfortable.
I decided to approach it as a discussion of our role as women as teachers of children and protectors of the people we love, as "guardians of virtue" in all its forms. We talked about Chastity and its definition, then why breaking it was such a serious sin. My logical explanation was that the Lord values life. The most serious sin is murder, the taking of a life. The second most serious sin is breaking the law of chastity, abusing the powers of creating life. I pointed out the counsel we are given to teach our children, the resources the church has given us to do it like "A Parent's Guide" and "For the Strength of Youth" and even the Friend magazine here and here. And repeated a talk we had in sacrament meeting last week that reminded us that whatever we didn't teach our children, the public schools and media would happily take over for us.
We talked about giving our children the right information now, before they got the wrong information later. About giving them the tools they needed to make good choices and explain their choices to others. And about being good examples in our own choices of dress, media consumption, and in standing up for what is right in public places, such as speaking out against inappropriate media or school programs.
We talked about many ways Satan tempts people to break the law of chastity, such as promoting immodest dress, lowering the standards of media content, promoting homosexuality, and spreading pornography. I told the Chocolate cake story* and we played "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"** and talked about putting filters on our computers and using the parental controls on the tv remote and keeping both in busy spots around the house, not in bedrooms or basements or office corners. We shared ideas about the importance of dressing modestly at every age, of keeping our temple covenants after we get there, and living so the Holy Ghost can help us make good choices.
I shared my testimony of the importance of the Law of Chastity, of the sacred responsibility we have to teach our families and children about virtue and chastity, and the help we can have from the Holy Ghost in knowing what to say and when to say it, and the importance of keeping a constant watch against Satan's efforts to infiltrate our homes with inappropriate media.
I wish I had more time to talk about the miracle of forgiveness, that there is always a way out, and the church's addiction recovery program to help deal with pornography problems, and found a way to keep the old ladies in the back row from tuning out and falling asleep, but I was out of time and discussion questions. And I still wonder if I should have made brownies, or maybe some chocolate cake? Oh well.
All in all, I learned a lot, which I guess was the point, right? I have a good FHE lesson in the works to help my kids fight the coming onslaught of public school next week and a stronger testimony of one more gospel principle. I will call that a success!

*When I was in YW um, several years ago, we were taught an object lesson by a guess teacher. I don't know who she was, but I still remember what she said. I will summarize. I am sure there is a longer illustrated version somewhere in a "Best of Mormon Something" anthology. Here is the short version I shared today.
Once upon there was a happy little town. They were given two rules, which if they kept carefully they were guaranteed to always be safe and happy. The two rules were: 1. Never eat chocolate cake and 2. Never wear the color red.
One day there gathered a team of mean people who decided that they wanted to make everyone miserable like they were, so they set about trying to make the people break the rules. They first tried to open a chocolate cake stand but were quickly shut down and run out of town because the people knew better than to let chocolate cake into their town.
So the team leader opened a bakery. The people protested at first, but since there was nothing in the laws prohibiting bakeries, and the bakery promised to sell just cookies, they let them stay. First he sold cookies, then chocolate chip cookies. People were worried at first, but eventually learned to like cookies and figured the law was against, cake, not cookies. Next the baker made muffins, then cupcakes. Just white cupcakes, so nothing really wrong to alarm the towns people.  Then he added chocolate frosting, and started making white cakes with chocolate frosting, and even chocolate chips. But since the rule was against chocolate cake, no one could do anything to stop him. Finally the baker introduced a chocolate and vanilla swirl cake, which wasn't really technically against the rules, and wasn't it almost the same as plain white cake anyway? He added less and less vanilla swirl to each cake until eventually the people of the town were happily consuming chocolate cake and had forgotten all about the first rule of happiness. When they started to feel sad or guilty about the rules, they just ate more chocolate cake and soon felt better.
The baker soon was able to close his shop because the people were making their own cakes at home now. He soon returned however, and opened a dress shop. He put up a billboard in the center of town featuring a smiling model eating chocolate cake and wearing a beautiful dress, in a lovely shade of pink.

**I read a talk from a YW leader who took her girls shopping for modest clothes. If they could sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"  complete with lifting their arms, bending over, leaning forward, etc. without revealing anything, the clothes were modest enough. An easy gage to teach our girls to use when they pick out their own clothes.

Camp W- Weeks 3-5 and Summer Reading Tips

The second installment of the Camp Wannalaffalotta by Mom summer survival guide. Click here for part 1 and a sample brochure.

A bit about summer reading. Most kids will come home from school with some sort of summer reading game to fill out for school the next year. Some older kids will even have a stack of books they are supposed to read over the summer. My daughter was given an assignment to read at least 10 books and do a diorama book report on her favorite to turn in the first week of school.
I know that some kids just don't like to read, and summer is a good time to learn how to read for fun or to read for a reward instead of homework. For kids who already love to read, summer is a good time to read all of the "just for fun" books they haven't had a chance to get to during the school year or to explore new areas of interest. I read to my kids at various time during the day and in the summer I read an advanced chapter book to my older kids while the little ones are napping to start their rest time. This summer we are reading the "Dealing with Dragons" series by Patricia Wrede. It is a good series for my mixed age group, with dragons, magic, wizards, knights, and princesses, but doesn't have the scary or violent parts that are in so many other popular fantasy books right now.



I don't use reading time as a reward or punishment at our house or reward my kids for reading a set amount of pages. In our house reading is just something we do, like taking naps or eating dessert or picking up your shoes off the floor or playing outside. If it isn't so easy for you, you might want to devise some sort of your own incentive chart at home, giving points for minutes or pages read in order to earn a reward of some kind.

In our house the biggest challenge is keeping track of all the lists for the many programs they are enrolled in. I found it easiest to just use the summer reading log we got from the library (or two or three of them) and keep a master list of books read for each kid. Then I transfer the titles into whatever reward form we are getting ready to turn in.

The easiest programs to participate in are ran by national bookstore chains, Borders and Barnes and Noble. They both have forms you can get in store or online, where you just list the ten books you read and turn in the form to the store to get a free book. They let three of my kids, ages 2,6, and 9, participate so we will end up with 6 free books.
The best program is probably ran by your local library. They will have some sort of form to fill out with weekly or monthly small prizes like stickers and bookmarks then a goody bag at the end that usually has a free book and coupons for all sorts of stuff- kids meals, donuts, ice cream cones, bowling, baseball games, mini golf, etc, depending on the local sponsors, and toys like Frisbees or balls.

Besides the reading program, libraries usually pull out all the stops when it comes to summer programs and there is bound to be something cool happening there all summer. In our county my kids can go to story time- usually different age groups from infant to teens-, craft time, language classes, book clubs, and parties. They also have all sorts of  visitors- characters like Cookie Monster or Pooh, Polynesian dancers, magicians, animal shows, petting zoos, clowns, puppets shows, baseball players, and authors.
You might try the library next to yours- most libraries within the county or state have a loan policy that lets you check out and return books to any branch, not just your local one. You might have a bookmobile stopping near you, another interesting way to find a good book. You can get DVDs, music CDs, and audio books. Some have a digital library that you can get books for your computer or nook and audio books for your mp3 player or ipod. And if they don't have the book you want, just tell them and they will go find it for you- from their shelves, when it gets returned if someone else has it right now, or from another library in the state or county.

I figure if a kid spends all that time in a library, he or she is bound to stumble upon something they love eventually!

Besides hanging out at the library, here is what we did for Camp W for weeks 3-5.


Week 3-5: Settling into a summer routine

Some things we did:

Learn to cook a simple meal (taco salad at our house)

Make cookies for grandpa

Go to the library and sign up for the summer reading program

Visit a local ice cream parlor. We are trying a new one each month then will vote on a family favorite!

Visit a local farm- this creamery gives free tours and let you bottle feed the calves!

Sneak into grandma's house while she is at work and clean it like crazy, leave dinner in the fridge, then run away fast before she gets home!

Take free Spanish classes at the library every day for a week

Visit an indoor bounce house (Monkey Joe's where we are)

Take a piano lesson from an older cousin

Swim in Aunt L's pool

Have a sleepover with cousins- ride their neighbor's horse, pick berries, and do free summer bowling

Have a sleepover with Aunt T and have a board game and movie party

Go to the park and have a picnic- simple picnic is throwing your regular lunch in a bag and eating it outside at the park!

Have a squirt gun/water balloon fight

Make lemonade or kool aid popsicles

Visit the bookmobile

Splash in a summer rain storm
Join a local 4-H horse club for a camp and barn sleepover
 
So after all that, I hope you are getting ready to go to the library! More to come, of course.

Camp W- week 1 and 2

We have been very busy having fun and learning new things this summer! I would love to say that the lack of blog posts here is a conscientious decision to blog less and mother more, but it was really a result of lots of chaos and no time or energy left over to write. And my brain is feeling the effects! Now that things have calmed down a little I am back to writing and reading and using an expanded vocabulary again and feeling much better!

Here is an update of what we have been doing in our corner of the woods. Maybe there is something here you can use for your family this summer as well! Nothing takes much advance planning, most are inexpensive or free, and all are lots of fun for lots of different ages-in our family we range ages 5 months to 9 years and we usually have an extra cousin or friend or neighbor kid thrown in the mix as well. And they require minimal adult involvement, as it is usually just me wrangling the kids around while dad works during the day.

A bit on scheduling. Routines save my sanity and are good for kids, too. They like knowing what to expect and what to do next. Our daily routine: breakfast, dressed, and chores done by 9 or 10. This keeps things from falling completely apart and the kids know if they get their chores done now I won't bug them about them the rest of the day. Outings and fun until lunch before it gets too hot. Rest time with naps for the under 5 crowd and reading time for the older ones. After rest time we have indoor adventures, free play at home, swimming, or craft projects in the hot afternoon. Then dinner followed by chores and a slightly later bedtime routine. My kids are still the first ones to go to bed on our block, but I think they are the happiest! We limit after dark activities to once a week so they get to stay up for fireworks, lightening bugs, campfires, or sleepovers, but still get the rest they need to be up with the sun and running around all day!

Every week we hit the library for story time, summer reading check-in, and to get a new stash of books and movies. We are also exploring all the local parks by picnicking at a new one each week. We also do an extended family visit to a grandparent or aunt and uncle. Anyway, that's the basic schedule we work off.

Here is what we have done for the first weeks of our summer vacation at Camp Wannalaffalotta!

Week 1: Welcome summer vacation!

Get a crazy haircut! 
Go to the lake/beach/river anywhere to swim.
Have an end of year/graduation party
Visit a local landmark (LDS temple for us) and meet an old friend
Make a train out of the dining chairs
Plant some flowers
Climb a tree
Week 2: visiting friends, an away from home stay vacation
We met some friends at a relatives house for a week of simple stay at home fun, except neither of us stayed home, so it was more exciting for the kids. We stayed at "grandma's" house out in the country. It was much cooler there so the kids spent most of their time outside playing on the lawn doing nearly forgotten but important things such as chasing butterflies, catching lightening bugs, following frogs, playing tag, working in the garden, and eating outside.

A few other highlights:
Wild life in the sleeping quarters- boarding with a hunter is exciting!
A swimming pool. Kids don't need much water to be happy!
A fire pit for roasting marshmallows and hot dogs
Berry picking, whatever is in season!
Homemade lemonade
The local playgrounds
A nature scavenger hunt. I just made up the lists as we were heading out the door and handed out empty jars for collecting specimens. It doesn't have to be fancy, just something to direct their exploration after the novelty wears off, to avoid boredom or mischief making!
Some homemade fun, courtesy the Daring Book for Girls- kool-aid hair dye, cookies, friendship bracelets and more
Fireworks, for the night after it has rained all day to avoid fire danger
A week-long slumber party with friends and lots of pillows!
A cool bubble machine, so you don't hyperventilate trying to keep 7 kids happily popping!
Yummy home cooking from someone besides mom, they always eat so much better when someone else is in the kitchen!

Next weeks will include some summer reading tips and our at-home summer routine activities. Stay tuned!

On Empty Pots

No, this isn't a gardening post. I already wrote about that in this post. This post is more concerned with the emptiness than the growing.

There is a stack of empty flower pots sitting on my front porch. They have been there since we moved in about 6 weeks ago. They sit there collecting rain water, pollen, dust, and dandelion seeds. I don't think about them during the day, the business of life keeps them "out of sight, out of mind." I do notice them, however, every time I enter or leave the house. And I think of the things I could be growing there.
I have made plans for them many times. Lots of plans and great ideas. I have read books and blogs and articles about container gardening and helping flowers and vegetables grow in pots on porches and window sills. I think I could probably write my own article or blog post on the subject. With all my knowledge though, the pots are still empty, briming with possibility and potential and plans, but empty.
I have a house full of empty pots- blank walls waiting for decorating, pattern print outs waiting to be cut and sewn into clothes and dolls and other objects, stacks of empty journals with blank pages, and drawers of photos waiting to be put into albums or scrapbooked. I know how to do it, but findig the time and motivation to do it all is still eluding me. And I have decided that it is okay. The flowers can wait a few weeks or months or even years. And it's not that important if the walls are blank or the sewing machine stays in the box.

There are however a few "pots" that can't be neglected or postponed.

I have been watching some rebroadcasts of women's conference where Sister Beck mentions some of the womanly duties that can't be delegated or negotiated or neglected. I heard a quote from a member of the First Presidency that explains how to move into a "survival mode" of sorts when things get out of control by focusing on just the essentials. Various other sources have all sent messages of the importance of focusing on the best things, instead of getting distracted by all the good things. Roles of wife, mother, sister, and daughter. Essentials like prayer amd scripture and family time.
I have five empty pots that have to be tended to now. They have names, and needs, and I have a sacred responsibility to tend to them. My husband needs a supportive and functional wife. My four children need a mother. And all that other stuff isn't that important.
It took a big move that took me way out of my comfort zone and away from my external support network to show me that I have to create my own comfort zone. To turn to my husband- my eternal support, when I need comfort or distraction from lonliness or depression or overwhelming feelings of doubt. That the responsibility of turning an house into a home rests on my shoulders. That the family relationships are more important than all the others. Right now I have a unique gift of time- no church calling or ward family to pull either of us away in the evening or on Sundays, no school volunteer duties, no girls nights or lunch dates to provide social outlets. Just my family to focus on. And we need a date night!
I have a job to do as a mother. Right now, I'm all they've got! They are little empty pots themselves, ready and waiting for me to plant all the right seeds. Or not plant anything, and let weeds and bugs and happenstance take over. I have been finctioning in the wrong survival mode for so long that I haven't been doing much mothering. Lots of caretaking and providing, but not mothering. I filled my days with busy-ness, but not essentials.
It hit me today as I was reading a blog about the importance of reading to your children, while my toddler watched tv or played alone. I could write a great book about mothering- I know a lot about it! But knowledge doesn't do any good unless it is applied. So I turned off the screen and sat with my girls and we read lots and lots of books and played with her toys and made lunch and sang songs.
I didn't need a book or a blog to tell me how to do it, I already knew. I just needed to do it. And as I sat and thougt about it, I thought of so many other ways I knew but wasn't doing. Right now we are all facing challenges nad my children need a mother, not just someone to feed them and wash their clothes.
So I am cutting out all those extras. It is not important if the photos ever come out of the box. No one will care in the eternitities if I learned to knit socks or paint murals or grow tomatoes or if my girls go to church in matching skirts I made myself. They need long talks and warm hugs and sincere prayers to grow strong, not homemade bread or custom drapes or hand glued hairbows with giant flowers. Blogging about motherhood and marriage and eternal families isn't nearly as important as having family home evening and reading our scriptures together and going to church together.
I can drag tham all over the state this summer and take them to concerts and museums and carnivals and make clay volcanoes and toothpick towers, but it is most important to teach them to love eachother, to serve others and their families, to play together, to learn about who they are and their amazing potential and eternal destiny. I just spent a week planning our summer camp, three months packed full of outings and day trips and adventures of all sorts. I think I am going to start over with a more important focus than just keeping my kids busy. We are going to grow together and learn about love and families and working and playing together, not just stay busy. I am pretty sure that one of our activities this summer will be to grow something in those empty pots, but maybe not. I might just leave them there.

So if you come to my house and see the stack of empty pots, know that they are there on purpose- to remind me of the more important things.