Thanks and Giving

November is always a busy month at our house. We have two birthdays, a wedding anniversary, and that little holiday called Thanksgiving usually gets squished in between cleaning up the birthday streamers and setting up the Christmas tree. This year, I am going to try to place more importance on the holiday that gives us a chance to focus on counting our blessings and giving thanks to Heavenly Father for all he has given us as well as "giving back" with service to others. I have been concerned about my children's attitude regarding things and money and the overall feeling of entitlement that seems to everywhere these days. I want my kids to learn to be grateful for what they have instead of always wanting more, stop expecting to be given things without having to work for them, not expecting payment or some sort of reward for everything they do, and remembering to say thank you to people and express gratitude to the Lord for what they are given. Seems like a fitting Thanksgiving lesson right?
This year I am trying something new- a whole month of Thanksgiving!
We usually put up Thanks and Giving Trees the week before Thanksgiving, but we are starting tomorrow instead. I hope to have more leaves than ever before! We usually just make one tree and work on it as a family so it doesn't turn into a contest.
Then last week I saw this post about a Thanksgiving Advent and thought "I can do that!" 
However, I don't do a lot of paper crafting so mine won't be that pretty. Instead I'm going to make some construction paper turkeys and use numbered tail feathers. Just a brown pear-shaped body/head with colored feathers in a fan shape behind. Kind of like this:

A number on the front of the feather with a coordinating a blessing and activity on the back. You don't need a pattern, just wing it!
I had the kids brainstorm a list of things they were thankful for, from silly to profound. Ironically, my 3 yr old gave answers like "Jesus" and "My family" while her older siblings went silly with things like "toilet paper" or "Halloween candy" in a test to see if I would really write down all of their ideas. Oh well. They made it 100 without too much help, so I will use that list to get started. I tried to use all of their ideas, no matter how silly they seemed, so they knew their contributions were important. I also put in a day for each family member, even the ones who weren't having a birthday, so everyone was included. I aimed for a mix of service, fun, work, and thank you's. And I worked around our calendar as much as possible to avoid making more work for myself- like the open house that was already scheduled or the flu shots they were going to have to get anyway.

Here is our first week if you need some ideas:

1. We are grateful for books. Go to the library and bring a thank you note for the librarians.
2. We are grateful for music. Thank your music teacher for helping you learn and spend an extra 15 minutes practicing. OR listen to a new song and do a dance for mommy and daddy.
3. We are grateful for our beds. Make someone else's bed in secret today.
4. We are grateful for tv. Watch a good movie or show together as a family.
5. We are grateful for our family. Take a family picture.
6. We are grateful for B. Do something nice for her today to make her birthday extra special!
7. We are grateful for school. Go to the open house and volunteer to host. Tell visitors how great your school is and grateful you are for all of the special learning opportunities you receive there.
8. We are grateful for trees. Collect some colored leaves from outside and make a picture to hang on the wall. Send one to each grandparent.
9. We are grateful for modern medicine and flu shots. Go get a flu shot and don't whine about it!
10. We are grateful for dentists. Go to the dentist and get your teeth cleaned. Show off your shiny smile and take silly pictures of each other.
11. We are grateful for food. Help make dinner. Make extra to freeze and give to a relative who will have a baby soon.
12. We are grateful for pizza. Have a mobile pizza party- take pizza and treats to your cousins for a surprise. Play games and have fun!
13. We are grateful for church. Write a thank you note to someone at church who has helped you in some way.
14. We are grateful for L. Do something to make her birthday extra special!
15. We are grateful for new babies. Make a gift for your newest cousins and deliver or mail it.

I'll post the rest of our list next week as we go. Today, we still have to finish up with Halloween. There are pumpkins to carve and cookies to make and costumes to find one last time. And baby is asleep, so I better get started!

Happy Thanksgiving month!

Things to love right now

* Chubby baby cheeks with dimples and giggles
* Toddler tea party with mini pumpkin jack-o-lanters as the guests of honor
* Magic red and gold leaves, pink sunsets, and chilly mornings
* 7 yr olds with wiggly front teeth who make everyone waffles for breakfast
* Fourth grade student of the month, nominated by her peers for being  trustworthy- a good friend, honest, and reliable
* Finding a giant chocolate bar in a grocery bag while cleaning off the top of the fridge, that I didn't know was there, that had been bought and left sometime earlier by a thoughtful husband
* A kitchen that smells like pumpkin chocolate chip muffins
* An organized front closet
* One week until my mom getaway- room with housekeeping, a hot tub, a pool, no cooking for two days, and great company. And that is before the event even starts!
* Fresh picked apples, apple crisp, apple pancakes, and apple pie
* I found the box with my sewing machine inside- welcome back friend!
* Celebration season in our family- 2 birthdays down, Halloween, 2 more birthdays, Thanksgiving, Wedding anniversary, and Christmas! I can think about presents and celebrating, and baking, all the time instead of laundry and boxes and humidity.

I am grateful for little girls who turn on the light

We have had a very eventful few weeks over here. Thursday my oldest daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. After a few scary hours in the ER and a few more hard days in the hospital, and a long week of learning and adjusting and recovering, things are almost starting to feel normal again. I thought I would start off with a gratitude list, to help me keep things in perspective.

1. I am grateful my daughter is alive. Without the medical intervention she received last weekend, she wouldn't be.

2. I am grateful that I know her well enough to notice that she was sick, not just in need of an earlier bed time or more water or chapstick. That my husband works crazy long hours so I can stay home and mother my kids all the time. I think it would have taken much longer to notice all of the subtle signs of illness if I only got to see her a few hours before bed.

3. I am grateful for the bathroom light. It woke me up every time she had to get out of bed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, another symptom that would otherwise have gone unnoticed.

4.I am grateful for a school teacher who was willing to allow my daughter to carry water bottles around all day drinking, and then let her go to the bathroom 6 times a day. The water kept her from getting seriously dehydrated those last few days before the diagnosis. And the bathroom monitoring led her to ask for a note from home, asking for permission to go to the bathroom so much. This was one of the things that told me maybe there was something going on- if she needed a doctor's note to go to the bathroom so much, maybe there was a medical reason for the problem.

5. I am grateful for technology. Although WebMD and other google health diagnosis tools can sometimes be dangerous because they lead people to believe they have something they don't or keep sick people from going to the doctor, they can be really useful tools as well. After some quick research before bed, I knew she had all the symptoms for diabetes. That gave me an entire sleepless night (interrupted by a few bathroom lights and a nursing infant) to get used to the idea, so when the doctor delivered the diagnosis, I already knew what she was going to say and didn't have to adjust right there in front of the doctor and could answer some of my daughter's questions on the way to the hospital.

6. I am thankful for quiet answers to prayers. I went to bed the night before unsure about what to do next. I didn't want to take her to the doctor for unnecessary tests or be one of those alarmist moms who thinks its a crisis every time their kid gets a stomach ache or feels tired. But I didn't want to ignore a potentially serious problem. I said a simple prayer asking for guidance and peace when I went to bed that night. I woke up certain that I needed to take her to doctor. I had no doubts that she was very sick, that she was experiencing the onset symptoms of type 1 diabetes, and that we needed to visit the doctor that day. And so I made an appointment, dropped the toddler with a sitter, and picked my girl up from school and we went to the doctor. I felt calm and was able to do it all very matter-of-factly.

7. I am thankful for the Spirit and it's power to calm and strengthen the hearth of a mother who needs to be there for her daughter. When the doctor told me I was handling the news of the diagnosis surprisingly well, I wanted to reply that it was miraculously well- that it was only by Divine intervention that I wasn't falling apart right before her eyes. I wasn't a rock or a robot- I still cried right along with my daughter as soon as the doctor left the room. My voice caught when I had to return to the school and tell her teacher she would not be returning to school that day or the next. I get teary when I make her cry with an unsuccessful finger prick or painful injection. There was a moment in our training when we had to learn to give insulin shots, that my husband and daughter had to leave to go to the restroom at just the right moment, so I could sit alone with the nurse for three minutes and cry my eyes out. But I could pull myself back together in time to do what I had to do.

8. I am grateful for a diagnosis. As much as you hate to be told you have a chronic condition that will require lifelong treatment and lifestyle adjustments, at least we know what is wrong and how to treat it. My sister has been struggling for years with her son. He has something that is affecting his development and motor skills. They know something is wrong but a string of doctors and specialists still can't say what it is or how to treat it. I think I would rather know and be able to move forward. And I am thankful for the vending machine full of chocolate that was a full five minute walk away from our ER room that gave me a chance to walk away for a few minutes when I really needed to.

9. I am grateful for family. I didn't expect to go to the doctor and be told to drive right to the children's hospital two hours away, to be admitted and stay over night. When I left my toddler with her aunt, we both expected it to be for a few hours. When I called and asked her to keep her indefinitely, as well as pick my son up from school, feed them both dinner and just wait to know what was happening, she didn't hesitate to ask how else she could help. She kept them both the following day as well. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have that kind of support network in place. I can't imagine how much harder it would have been if I had to take everyone with me, or to send her on to the hospital alone because I had to be with the other kids, or to have to choose. As soon as we knew we would be late getting home that night, my mother-in-law went straight from her long day of work to my home so my kids could go to sleep on time in their own beds, prepared to stay the night if needed and send them off to school the next morning before going back to work. Then she did it again the next night as well. My mom couldn't be here physically, but she called each to let me know she was thinking about us and praying for us and just to let me talk to someone. My sisters called to check on me, to give me a much needed outlet to just talk to someone while I worried away the hours on my daughter's first day back at school. My older sister is a nurse and also dealing with gestational diabetes- she could empathizee with Lenna and give me tips like how to make the shots hurt a little less and which sugar-free ice cream tastes the most like the real thing.

10. I am grateful we live within driving distance to a nationally-ranked children's hospital that was staffed with pediatric endocrinologists who knew how to stabilize and treat our daughter and educate me and my husband on how to care for her after we left.

11. I am grateful for a hospital full of nurses and staff that are used to working with kids and had my daughter smiling by bedtime, in spite of everything she had just gone through. And that they let me stay the night, even though I had to keep a nursing baby with me.

12. I am grateful for health insurance. So that when we left the hospital with a $9,500 bill and a stack of prescriptions totaling over $400, we didn't have to worry about how to pay for it on top of everything else. We still have a pretty big bill leftover after the insurance paid its share, but at least it is manageable. 

13. I am grateful for Mike's job. So that when I called and said "I'm on the way to the hospital." he only had to tell his supervisor that there was an emergency and was able to leave right away, for as long as he needed, and no one gave him a hard time about it. That they paid him for his time anyway. That he was able to work extra hours the next few weekends to so he didn't have to lose vacation days and earned overtime pay so we could more easily pay the hospital bill.

14. I am grateful to our ward family here who make daily phone calls to tell us they are concerned, offers for babysitting, and for those who bring meals, because "when you are concerned and don't know what to say and want to help and don't know how, you bring food." Thank you for the food.

15. I am grateful to the school nurse who knows what she is doing, for a teacher who lets my daughter eat in class and make up tests she failed while she was sick and didn't know it (but still had fuzzy brain cells from all the sugar) and guidance counselors who take time from their schedule to do presentations to fourth graders about diabetes and blood sugar and the difference between diseases you can catch and those you can't and feature slide shows about little girls with IVs and glucose meters and "nurse buddies" and morning snacks and Halloween party cupcakes.

16. I am grateful for insulin. And glucose meters. And lancing devises. And syringes. Even though I hate them. I am grateful to have them so that my daughter can get better and stay alive and go back to being a kid and worrying about spelling tests and running races and how to make a spaghetti and meatballs costume for Halloween.

17. I am grateful to recipes on the back of graham cracker boxes that can be made with sugar-free pudding and cool whip so that my daughter can make and share and eat dessert and feel normal.

18.I am grateful for nap time.

19. I am grateful to my husband, who is everything I am not. For being strong when I am weak, for being brave when I am scared, for being an advocate when I am intimidated, for being efficient when I am frazzled, for being helpful when I am overwhelmed, for working while I sleep. For bringing food and clean clothes and a toothbrush. For keeping an eye on the forest while I am fretting about the trees. For priesthood blessings.

20. I am grateful for my girl, who never ceases to amaze me with all she can do and be and learn and will become. I am so excited to see her grow up into all that ability and potential. I am grateful for the privilege of being her mother and getting to watch her do it all and maybe come along for the ride sometimes.

21. And she says she is grateful that she never has to fast on Fast Sundays anymore and for sugar-free jell-o and chocolate bars.

Into the Wilderness

Today I should be sorting and packing and getting ready for our move, but I am not. After that last post Mike highly encouraged me to not blog after 10PM, lest everyone think our lives are completely miserable here. So  in trying to keep with his advice, I am taking time in the middle of the day to write instead of cleaning out the toy boxes.

I have felt a certain kinship with Sariah of the Book of Mormon lately. Last week for Family Home Evening Andrew chose to tell the story of Lehi's journey into the wilderness as his lesson. He held up his GAK picture and read the story and scripture references on the back. Then we (OK, I) talked about how we could relate the story to our life now.

I have been thinking about the story this week and how it really does relate to my life now. Lehi was told to take his family to a better place, to leave behind all but the most basic of possessions, and to trust the Lord to take care of them and lead them to where he wanted them to be. A few months ago my husband felt prompted to apply for a new job in another state. He got the job, and we are now getting ready to move several states away, leaving behind our home, our friends, and a lot of our belongings, to follow him into another sort of wilderness (really, I will need my own liahona to find my way around for the first few months!), trusting that the Lord will lead us to where he needs us to be and that he will take care of us.

I really, really didn't want to be the supportive wife. I remained noncommittal, I shrugged my shoulders a lot, I dragged my feet, I stuck my head in the sand and ignored upcoming deadlines.

It didn't make sense to me at all- to sell our house when the market is dead, to pull the kids out of a school they love, to leave our friends and ward family, to relocate to a place where the cost of living is nearly doubled, where safe and affordable housing is nearly impossible to find, his commute to work will be hours long and expensive, and take a pay cut on top of it all. Take a step backwards and go from owning our home to renting, from 1500 square feet to 950, to 60 hours work weeks instead of 40. The timing was terrible- we were about to have a baby, the kids were in the middle of school, our house would be hard to sell. In all the lists I made, it just seemed like the worst thing to do.

We moved forward anyway, because when it came right down to it, we knew it was the right thing for our family right now. The Lord didn't leave Sariah and her children to wander alone in the wilderness, he helped them every step of the way, as long as they were willing to listen.

And when I stopped being so stubborn and started praying for help, it came. The start date was two months after baby's arrival. Relocation benefits would cover professional movers to do the packing and moving and cover traveling expenses for all of us. Health and dental benefits were better. We looked outside our original search area and found affordable housing in a good neighborhood across the street from a top-ranked school for the kids, only minutes away from family. The new employer would  pay for Mike's commute on the transit system that stopped just blocks away from our new house. When we ran the numbers again, our budget balanced- even with the pay cut, the cost of living increase, the housing payments for both our old and new houses. It was going to be OK, not easy, but OK.

Of course, what is a journey into the wilderness without a little faith-testing? We are leaving behind our house, unsold, hoping that the realtor will take care of it and get it sold before the savings run out. We are giving away enough furniture to fill a small apartment, but I am grateful that we have enough to spare. I still don't know anyone. My kids will be the new kids at school and have to make some academic adjustments. I am certain I will get hopelessly lost at least a handful of times trying to find the church or the grocery store. And there will be snow in the winter.

I will go anyway. I will be grateful and positive. I will be supportive. And I am determined to like it! After all, I like it here in this place I once thought of as a hot, humid, bug-infested, pollen covered, mess. It can only get better! Maybe the wilderness will turn out to be the promised land.

And now I will go sort the toy boxes.

Southern Hospitality

I am sick today. Not really blog-worthy in and of itself, right?


This morning has shown me how much I have to be grateful for in my wonderful network of friends here, illustrates why I didn't want to move before the arrival of baby, and has helped me turn my "I feel like I want to die" into an "I am grateful for this opportunity" moment.

My dear visiting teacher called me earlier in the week and ask if she could drive me to the temple to help me get one more thing checked off my list (which, by the way, I am doing very well at accomplishing). After a crazy morning of running around, including a few frantic phone calls to find a temple dress to borrow that would fit around my expanding belly, it was a great way to spend the afternoon and evening. Unfortunately, even with my front seat privileges I started feeling quite ill on the way home. I figured it was a weird combo of morning sickness or car sickness. And thus started a night and day of the above mentioned "I feel like I want to die" illness.

I woke up, somehow managed to get the big kids dressed and to school on time, and came home and started whining about how cruddy I felt on facebook.

Within minutes I had friends practically tripping over each other to help me. B has been whisked away to play and nap with a friend, there is dinner waiting in the fridge, and all the baby laundry in storage I needed to get done has been taken away, washed, and returned smelling fresh and clean to the nursery (another project tackled by a friend that would otherwise not exist!).

The kids are looking forward to a sleepover this weekend aranged to give Mike and I a chance to get away one more time before baby comes. Two amazing ladies are throwing a baby shower next week aimed to fill my freezer with food and calendar with helpers instead of the dresser with baby clothes. The woman I called to borrow a dress from yesterday didn't even blink before agreeing to lend me her temple dress and asking to keep B while I went. Even L's dance teacher called to make sure I had things covered and offered to drive her to classes for a few weeks so I wouldn't have to venture out with baby.

I am so very grateful. And super-scared to move away from my support network into the unknown.

So, to my southern family of friends and sisters, thank you for taking care of me.

Seven things

I am thankful for:

1. decongestants

2. antihistamines

3. cough suppressants

4. fever reducers

5. cortisone

6. neosporin

7. sunscreen

Six Things

Thanks.

1. That every accident doesn't result in a broken bone.

2. For my home teacher, whose wife makes yummy brownies.

3. To Olive Garden for cheap lunch dates with friends.

4. For the big bug on the door so Andrew could willingly go to school to show it.

5. To my husband and the chocolate he left on the top shelf of the fridge last night.

6. To my family and friends, who didn't bother to point out to my tired brain that there were only five things in the above list.

5 Things

I am thankful for the chance to serve my friends. I have been on the receiving end so long, it was nice to give something back.

I am thankful that Rebecca didn't cry the whole time she was in the nursery today so I could exercise.

I am thankful that we are able to provide Lenna the chance to learn to dance.

I am thankful that the shoe store I browsed in today didn't have anything I liked in my size so I couldn't buy five pairs and then suffer from shopper's remorse.

I am thankful Andrew had a good day at school and was happy when I picked him up, even though he was sad when I left.