Surviving Sacrament Meeting

This month our Relief Society Meeting will be about improving reverence during sacrament meeting. Specifically, improving reverent behavior of children. We were asked to have this meeting by the bishopric- I guess their view from the front is better than mine and they saw a pressing need. I can't say I saw the same one, but it may be because I was so busy trying to keep my kids quiet and pick up the dropped cereal and take the toddler to the potty and the crying baby to the foyer that I missed the irreverent behavior they were so concerned about. Regardless, we went to work.

We decided on a workshop format instead of a Sunday lesson. After all, stressed out moms know perfectly well when it is their kid that has the problem and don't need to be told they are lacking or lectured about reverence or parenting, esp with helpful comments delivered by child-less women that are just complaints about how they can't hear the speaker. They need resources and practical advice from other moms, more easily delivered in one of those meetings that used to be called enrichment meetings but are now just "meetings."
So we will be having an open discussion of "what works for me" and making some toys to try out on our kids. Because we all know that lists of ideas are great but we never have time to make them after we leave. We need to leave with it finished in our hands or it isn't going to get done. Or maybe that's just me?
I have been busy pinning lots of Sunday activities and gathering ideas. I thought I would share some of them with you. Here's my pinboard of Sunday ideas.

We will make three of four of them that day, as well as have a display table of some successful Sunday bags and their contents for examples of toys and books and snacks that are appropriate for Sacrament Meeting.  We are encouraging those sisters without young children to come anyway, to contribute to the discussion and share survivor stories, as well as to make some toys for kids in our ward who didn't have a mom to craft for them- those who come with single fathers, foster parents, grandparents, visitors, or investigators. Wouldn't it be great to be able to hand new members a welcome packet with something for their kids to do in all those new meetings?
We thought about having refreshment made of "Sacrament Meetings greatest hits" but decided a room full of moms didn't need cheerios and gold fish. So we are doing a "sacrament meeting rejects" table instead- fruity drinks, gooey chocolate, crumbly cake, etc. Bad examples are effective teaching tools as well, right?
And of course there will be child care available, because the last people we want to stay home and miss because they had no where to take their kids, are the women who have no where to take their kids when they need to get away. They are probably alone on Sunday as well and need all the support they can get! We asked the member of the bishopric that told us to give the lesson to provide the child care, it seemed only fair. :)

Here is the cartoon I used in the flyer. It really captures the feelings of most parents on Sunday afternoon!

Finally, I made a handout of some rules for Sacrament Meeting Survival. I thought I would share them here. Feel free to add any of your own in the comments. I might steal them and add them in later!

Surviving Sacrament Meeting

1.     Prepare with care. If it can, it will.

If it can beep, honk, ring, squeak, ding, or sing, it will. If it can break, tear, drip, leak, crumble, smear, or spill, it will. If it can fly, bounce, roll, or zoom, it will. If it can be made to bark, neigh, cry, or vroom, it will. Bring soft, quiet, contained, and mess free snacks and toys.

2.     The Party is in the Pew.  Foyer = No Fun Zone

The best books, toys, snacks, and company are in the pew. If you want the good stuff, be good and stay in the chapel. The foyer is one big time-out chair where you have to sit perfectly still, fold your arms, and be ignored by your parent. It’s a boring and lonely place. Better to stick it out in the chapel. If you take your fussy kids out of the chapel to the foyer and reward them with snacks and snuggles and friends and run around space, you are rewarding the behavior that got them there in the first place. Next week, they will misbehave to come out even sooner.

3.     Practice Makes Perfect.

Practice sitting quietly and whispering at home during the week. Start small, say 5 minutes. Gradually work up to 30 minutes of quiet time, sitting quietly and playing with the Sunday toys and books on the couch. Reward them with lots of praise and treats for each success. When you are first starting out, try for silence and stillness during prayers and work up to the time the sacrament is passed.  Then shoot for the rest hymn. Have a party the first week they make it all the way to the closing prayer.

Keep coming. Come to church every week, even if you only make it through the sacrament. Consistent expectations and lots of chances to practice will lead to success.

4.     This too shall pass. And then they grow up.

Older children will require less hands-on care. Once they are school age they can be expected to sit for an hour without snacks, potty breaks, or toys (they do it all day at school!) and a pencil and paper is all they need to stay busy. They can sing hymns, read scriptures, and listen for keywords or stories during talks. Once they are old enough to be baptized and make covenants, they should be mature enough to sit quietly and reverently while the sacrament is being passed.

5.     Call in reinforcements. We’re all in this together. 

Younger children do best with one-on-one care during sacrament meeting. If you have a bench full, or are there by yourself on Sundays, get some help.  Search out an older couple who miss their grandkids and would be happy to hold your baby while you play with the toddler, or and mother of self-contained teens who would happily play finger games with the preschooler while you rock the fussy baby. Teen girls and young married couples are also valuable Sunday resources. If there aren’t openly friendly faces around you on Sunday, try asking your bishop or RS president for recommendations. I would look for the member who complains most vocally to the leadership about the disruptions and ask for their help. You will get the extra hands you need, or after a week they will be more understanding and stop complaining. J