Wanted: Mothering Lessons

I need some help.
I need someone to teach me how to be one of THOSE mothers. You know, the kind that can write about how much she loves her job. One of those who who is thankful for challenges and who cherishes the midnight feedings for the chance to be alone at 4am with God and her baby and meditate on spiritual matters and come away grateful and happy.
Not one of those mothers who dreads bedtime and the hours following it, knowing that everyone in the world will soon be sailing off to dreamland and she isn't allowed to get on the boat. Who will, instead of feeling grateful and uplifted, come away from middle of the night feedings feeling just plan tired, and angry at the ones keeping her awake and even angrier at the ones sleeping while she is not.
I don't feeling nurturing and tender and all those other things moms are supposed to feel during the night. I feel cranky and want to throw a pillow at whatever is making noise and hope it will go away.
I am tired of midnight mothering. I am tired of the toddler who takes her diaper off and comes wandering in wet and naked and cold and spends the rest of the night tossing and turning and trying to warm up her cold feet on my back. Or the one who insists on waking before the sun and emptying the contents of his toy box loudly onto the bedroom floor piece by noisy piece. Or the oldest, who seems to be always up with nose bleeds or stomach aches or vomiting or growing pains or nightmares. Or the constant neediness of the infant, who relies on you completely for feedings and diaper changes and pacification, but who is too small and innocent to really be held accountable so you can't get upset with her, leaving you no one to feel angry at but yourself for being angry in the first place.
In fact, I think I'm getting tired of this mothering thing altogether. I am tired of all the crying. So much crying and whining!
I am tired of arguing for hours with a toddler over silly things, like why she can't take a bath 15 times a day or eat marshmallows for every meal or push the buttons on the DVD player until it breaks.
Tired of trying to convince the boy to eat something besides fruit snacks and chicken nuggets and to change his underwear every day and not to use the curtain rod as a weapon against imaginary enemies or his sisters.
I am tired of nagging my girl who has lost her brain somewhere the last few weeks and leaves a trail of forgetfulness behind her- from the milk jug on the table to the open bread bag and lunch meat on the counter to the shoes in the entry and the jacket in the hall, the laundry half folded on the couch and her hair brush on the piano.
I am tired of diapers and breast milk and spit up. Of an endless cycle of nap times and nursing that leaves little room for anything else. Of to-do lists that get longer instead of shorter. Of the constant interruption that leaves everything from dinner to wet laundry to conversations all half-finished and undone.
I missed my freeway exit yesterday and nearly drove into another state because I missed the sign and was too busy thinking up outlandish ways I might escape for a while- get a job working nights so someone else could do bedtime, just keep driving for a few hours instead of going home after a quick trip out to do errands, fake amnesia and check myself into the hospital for a full night's sleep before making a miraculous recovery, take a long train trip with the kids and hope the movement would put them to sleep and get some rest while some one else is driving.
So, how do you do it? How do you get past the tired to the grateful, or even just not annoyed at the world, stage of mothering? Because I really want to be one of THOSE mothers, not so much this one. I need to learn before they grow up, because I love them to death and they deserve so much more than just tired!